Hell

July 26, 2010 at 7:09 pm | Posted in Journal | Leave a comment
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Pas tgl 21 kmrn.. Gw kan mo say bye ke Jo di airport gt.. Eh, pas jem stngh 10 (sblm gw bngn) mati lmpu! Yah gw pikir bntr donk.. Plng pas gw plng dah nyala. Eh, ternyt gag! Gw menderita gag bs tidur gr2 kpanasan! Gw ketiduran jem 4 pagi (saking kpanasan n cape, gw pingsan kali) trus bngn lg pas nyala; yaitu jem stgh 9. Keesokan hariny.

Keterlaluan bngt gag? Seharian men!! PIK n bbrp bagian MK mah dah nyala pas sore, gw nyala pas pagi bsk ny!

Kesel ny lg, tuh hari.. Tgl 22.. Pas jem stgh 5, mati lmpu lg dia. Gw menderita lg. Gw bengong kepanasan ampe akhirny pas jem stgh 3 pg dia nyala.

Oh mai gat. Beneran. Pas lampu night stand gw nyala, gw brasa.. Bahwa itu adalah kejadian paling berharga bagi gw! Kyk ad suara nyanyian para malaikat!

23 jem + 10 jem = total 33 jem mati lampu.

Blm lg bsk ny gw trauma ama mati lmpu. Mak gw pk tkt2in gw sgala lg, pk blng tuh hari bkl mati lmpu lg.. Trus ad kgk dikaget2in gt. Ngejepret (kyk mati lmpu, tp cm bbrp detik, trus nyala lg) 2 kali. Arghhh!

Like the person on twitter said, “PLN = Perusahaan Lilin Negara”

YESSS!!

January 1, 2010 at 5:39 pm | Posted in Journal | 1 Comment
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YESSSSS BABY!!

I know this really cool site, where you can find the list of Harry Potter Crossover Fics. I was so happy when I first found it. Overjoyed. And then I started to post my list. The list of fics that I’ve been reading. And yes, I’m pretty active (over the others.. who just want to see the list, not posting it). Then.. I kinda pulled a giant mask over my face to asked the admin, “Can I be a Staff there?” and she was so nice (after dreading for like.. 2 months for that reply) to answer, “Sure you can!” and then I found out I can edit the forum and stuff. She made me an Admin~!

After 11 months as a member, I became an admin. That’s 3 months ago. Today, I just read her message, she practically gave the forum to me to maintain! YAY!

I know it’s little, not important in life, but I feel very happy. xD

And Fel, I’m sorry that I’ve been ignoring you when you’re gonna come back to Australia, I’m just sad that I can’t even meet you once (when the Interians already did), and you kinda rejected me over and over again. But then I realized that I didn’t even try to meet you in your house, or call you about meeting you before 30th Dec. Realizing this just makes me emo again. What a lazy ass I am :’(

Yeah.. I’m gonna add new categories on that forum now.. so, ciao~

Bullying

December 18, 2009 at 12:09 pm | Posted in Journal | 2 Comments
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Gw slalu sk bk ttg abuse sejak gw bc ‘The Child Called It‘ (bkn seneng liat anak ny di-abuse y..). Sejak itu, gw slalu pngn bc yg tipe2 itu.. n range ny bertmbh besar. Gw mulai bc crita/novel2 kepribadian ganda, suicidal, depresi, penyakit2 trauma, but mostly abuse and bullying. Krn itulah gw sk Naruto n Harry Potter, krn mreka mengalami itu.

That’s beside the point.

Kmrn2 ini gw ntn Oprah.. ttg anak2 yg meninggal gr2 bullying. Gw br inget pas gw lg bc fic Naruto.

Ada 2 org tua yg anak ny meninggal bulan itu. 2-2ny bunuh diri di kmrny. 2-2ny bunuh diri gr2 diejek ‘gay’ di skolahny. 2-2ny gag brani blng ke org tua ny.

Ada juga org tua yg anak ny bunuh diri di kmr mandi 5 thn yg lalu. Dia lbh kasihan lg. Dia di-bully secara lngsng n lwt internet. Dia diejek ‘gay’, smua org gag mao deketin dia, org yg nge-bully dia akhirny tmnan ama dia.. tp akhirny dia di-betrayed.. dia di-bully lg ama tuh anak. Trus dia pikir dia bkl pnya ce.. ce yg dia knal dr internet. Pas dia temuin secr lngsng, ternyt itu cm set-up gt, dia dipermalukan di dpn umum. Trus dia pnya thread sndr di forum, bullies bwat itu bwat org laen jg ikut nge-bully dia. Akhirny dia gag thn lg, dia bunuh diri.

Tangisan gw gag bs berhenti. Ce yg tlh mempermalukan tuh anak ama co yg tlh nge-bully dia, bnr2 gag nyadar ap yg mreka lakukan. Sure, mreka feels guilty. Tp mreka bnr2 gag nyadar, kl GARA2 ap yg mreka perbuat, 1 org meninggal.

Bullying is dangerous, because we didn’t know that we’re doing it. We didn’t know the true extent.. cause of that action.

Parents often don’t know that their children was bullied. Even if they do, they realized it until it’s too late. The children became more closed up, their depressions was constantly piled up, until they can’t contain it anymore. The result is suicide.

Kt Oprah, org tua gag blh ksh nasehat: “Just ignore it”. Kl gt gmn? Solusiny gmn?

-krn gw gag ntn ampe abis-

Fuck it!

November 9, 2009 at 4:09 am | Posted in Journal | Leave a comment
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This post only contain my rants of this totally shitty day. You don’t have to read it all. :D

Fucking PLN, fucking power outages shit, fucking hot sauna at fucking night, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! FUCK IT ALL!!

Gila, mati lmpu dr jem 2 ampe stngh 9 lwt, gmn gag mo gedeg?!

6 1/2 jem, men!

Org2 cm mati 1 jem n gw hrs menderita sgitu lm?! Kt mak gw pemerintah bwat peraturan mati lmpu cm plng lm 4 jem, apaan ini?! DAMN YOU MOTHER FUCKERRRRRR!!!!! DAMN YOU!

Hr ini dr subuh, gw sial bngt. Kmrn pas gw bngn jem 8/9 mlm gt, gw ke kmr nci gw n lngsng disuru bntu2 tgs dia. Y ud, gw tidur2an smbil maenin iPhone nci gw.. nunggu kerjaan.

Trus nci gw ngoche2 gag ad lem UHU, gw ngmng gw ad diatas, eh dicuekin, y ud gw diem aj. Mak gw dingoche2in knp cm bl UHU kecil 2, mak gw blng cm ad itu, nci gw nangis (ato itu pilek ny dia gw kgk taw, oh.. nci gw skt jg btw), trus gw dngn gmpng ny menyela blng gw ad lem UHU di kmr.

Kmudian sperti biasa, pas kerja nyalain DVD, biar ad suara2. Nyalain ny That 70′s Show. Gw jd pngn bc fic ny, y ud gw cr lwt google. Pas gw lg bc crita gay porno That 70′s Show, nci gw siap2in kerjaan bwat gw. Bingo n Kiki yg sdh cantik n wangi stlh mandi, gw ambil bwat nemenin gw di ranjang. Yeah, babyyyy~

Trus gw n nci gw kerja ampe jem stngh 2 pg. Nci gw take a break bntr mkn sandwich (sblm jem stngh 2 itu..) yg kmrn2 ny gw n nci gw bwat mlm2 dngn susah pyh. Dr 1 plastik roti yg tlh dipotong indah menjd 2 dgn isi tuna, mayonnaise, lettuce, telor, mustard, bawang, saos tomat, keju n ham.. gw cm dpt 1 potong. WTH?! Yup. Kt nci gw itu dimkn mak n bpk gw. RESE ABIS! Gw kgk taw itu nci gw mkn jg ato gag, tp ttp aj, itu jht, men. Dr sgitu bnyk ny roti gw cm dpt 1? Hiks.

photo8

now with photos!! liat kan btapa menggiurkan sandwich ny? n gw cm dpt 1?!

Gw dah sbl tuh, eh pas lg gunting asik2, mati lmpu. ARGHHHH

Gw tidur2an di rnjng nci gw, nci gw mo cb ntn Franklin tp nyerah, trus mo ntn I am Legend tp tkt liat anjing ny mati, akhirny dia ngorok2 bobo. Gw jdny maenin DS gw deh. Pokemon Dungeon ap gt. Blue Rescue Team! Gw Charmender yg bernm Carmen dngn tmn seperjuangan ny Chikorita yg nm ny Chiko (wah, shota abisss.. kyk Pico n Chiko; anime Shota).

pokemon-mystery-dungeon-blue-rescue-team-20060606105952795

now with pictures!! pokemon gw charmender ama chikorita.. gag ad di gmb ini..

Trus jem 6, nci gw pg kuliah, gw cm bs bengong krn pokemon gw kehilangan smua brng ny. DS ny dah merah, y jd skalian aj gw matiin. Kesel. Trus mak gw blng gw mkn ny ntar aj, jd mie yg dah dibeli dia taburin cabe bwat dia mkn. Wat de? Gw dah blng gw mo mkn bo! Trus dia nuduh2 gw dah mkn td. Pdhl gw cm nyomot doank. Brengsek. Gw (org yg perlu ikut anger management class) lngsng lempar tuh plastik kuah ny ke lantai. BYURRR, ceplok dah. Tp gw taw diri jg, gw lngsng pnggil anak2 gw n kurung mreka biar mreka gag nginjek tuh kuah.

Gw dah mrh2 tuh. Blm lg mo mandi tp gag ad shampoo. Trus mbak gw disuruh bl mie ny lg tp blk2 gag bw ap2. TRUS pas dah nyala lmpu, gw nyalain AC biar bs ngadem pas gw dah mandi, pas gw keatas tuh AC dah dimatiin ama dia!! BRENGSEKKKKK!! TAEEEEEEEEEE

Kl diinget2 blm lg gw blm transfer duit ke si Jutawan ap itu.. yg bisnis online. Gila, dr kpn itu? Dr post sblm ini.. 3 hr yg lalu?! Aaaaaaaaa, dia dah sms lg. Gah! emo emoemoemoemoemoemo

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Wew. Sori2. Ini post plng gag penting di dunia. Cm ngoche2 kehidupan gw yg kosong n lame. Totally boringggggg. Skali lg, sori..

University

October 22, 2009 at 3:01 pm | Posted in Journal | 2 Comments
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Gila, gw msh panik. Gw bnr2 gag taw mo berbwat apa.

Gw msh mikir2 ttg mao rombak kmr lah, mao bl monitor br bwat ganti yg skrg yg lg ngedap-ngedip warna ijo biru lah, mao beli CPU kl dah pnya duit lah, mao pnya iPod touch bwat bk internet lbh nyaman drpd hp lah, mao lanjutin diet lah, yah.. mslh2 kcl gt d. Eh, dtng mslh bsr.

Abis gw ganti themes n bwat custom header, gw bk blog tmn2. Trus tnpa sngaja, gw bk Della pnya dl. Trus gw liat post pertm dia, dia dah kterima di UPH.

Gw lngsng panik.

OMAIGAT. Oh. Mai. Gat. OH MAI GAT!

Gw msh dlm proses mikir2 ms dpn, gw blm taw mo kmn. Gw blm taw mo jd apa. Gw blm taw mo pilih apa. Gw blm taw gw udah siap ato blm untuk keluar dr my own little space here.

Gw msh lg nanya2 ttg UPH ama Binus. Krn kyk ny gw cm bs ke jurusan design. Nci gw seh blng UPH asik. Terlbh lg Elin mo ke sono (walaupun gag bkl ktemu soalny dia milih jurusan yg susah.. tp ttp aj itu arti ny UPH lumayan..), trus gw jg dah taw si Dela jd ke sono, blm lg tiap gw nganter jemput nci gw, pasti mkn mulu n ktny mknn disono enak2. Plus plus bngt. Tp, Binus ada klub Nippon. Kekurangan ny jg bnyk sih.. kt ny tmn gw, klub yg skrg dah gag enak.. maen duit mulu. Blm lg, gw bkl COMPLETELY ALONE THERE! And I’m totally not ready for that. At least I need someone that is going there (even if mreka beda jurusan). N gw gag taw gmn tes/orientasi/kuliah ny, stidakny pas UPH nci gw dah crita ke gw.. Binus gw bnr2 gag taw.

Skrg gw musti nyari taw ttg universitas2 (which is hard, cuz I haven’t met anyone in MONTHS), dll. Mikir ny aj gw dah pusing. Blm lg gmn gw bs bl monitor, gmn gw bs msk uni, kl bpk gw lg bokek? ARGH!

Please someone help me..

SOS

Uhhh..

September 9, 2009 at 11:55 am | Posted in Journal | Leave a comment
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knp tiap gw ngajak pg org, pasti mreka ngajak org2 yg gw gag knal sih? gw cm mo pg ama tuh org, mlh tb2 org ny jd bertmbh. n stngh ny gw gag knal. dah alhasil, gw dicuekin lg! gw ampe bingung, ini emang ny sp yg ngajak sih? gw kan?! i just want to spend some time with my friends. i don’t want other people to ruin that. please, people. if i only ask for you, then come alone. don’t bring some friends i don’t know. what if the situation is reversed? what if you invite me to a very private discussion, and i bring my cousins along?

sure, i would just laugh when you said, “gpp kan gw bw si ‘ini’ sm gw?”. but inside, i would be quite pissed. i’m mad that you just bring someone along. i’m mad that it can’t be just.. us. i’m mad because there will be someone (or more than one) i don’t know joining us. especially, i’m mad because i’m jealous. cause it kinda show that you have new friends, and i didn’t. like you’re saying “look at my new friends, they sparkles!”

that’s how i see it anyway.

Dominant or Submissive?

August 21, 2009 at 8:23 am | Posted in Journal | 2 Comments
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My sister always talk about rebelling, wanting to prove someone that she can do better, and that controlling someone makes her smile, saying sarcastic things to hurt people makes her laugh, she always have new ideas about things and like to lead people around (though there’s time where she just sit back and watch people make a fool of themselves). She’s a total dominant, right?

That’s probably why I’m such a loser.

Having an older sister like that, really intimidates you. Especially if you are just a normal-and-nothing-special girl. And if I remember.. I’m not that ‘nice and cute’ when I’m a kid too. So yeah, it sucks.

I have nothing to be proud about. No skill. No talent. I can’t do anything alone. I can’t do anything right. I’m easily swayed. I’m totally okay with being a servant. I probably won’t notice it until someone told me about it. I’m always scared of the result of my actions. Always remember the things I’ve done wrong. Always insecure. That’s why I always do something so slow. To make sure I’ve done it right.

I think I’m not a dom, I can’t even think for myself. And I’m content with people ordering me around, set me straight. Totally a sub. XD

So, which one are you?

Everyday Life

June 18, 2009 at 9:42 am | Posted in Journal | Leave a comment
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Bagi org2 yg baca ini.. jgn jealous terhadap my everyday life. And I don’t want your pity, I have enough of that from myself. [Yes. I already know that I'm such a lazy bum, I pitied myself. For not having a life. For not having a school life. For not having more friends. For giving up when the fight is still on (school). For-.. okay.. enough of that!]

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09.00-12.00 ~ bangun kira2 jem segini

bngn-siang ~ bk kmpie

siang-sore ~ turun ke bwh (kmpie gw ad di kmr atas), ngidul-ngelandur (bhs ap ini?! mustinya ngilur ngadul y?), berteman dgn kloset, jejelin mak gw dngn kt “Aim hangriiii.. Aim hangriiii..”, kl anak2 pd kluar.. maen ama anak2 (bibing n kiki – bingo n yoki), brusaha bicara lgi ama nci (cm kgk brani, gagal..), ngochein ade

sore-mlm ~ bingo mengendus2 pintu.. bk pintu biar dia msk ke kmr n melok2 dia. Kl gag, bpk dtng bwat take a nap. Soalny dia mls nyalain AC di bwh.

21.00-23.30 ~ diantara jem sgitu, gw off. Bersiap untuk tidurrrr (br2 ini, gw mimpi yg ane2 mulu)

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  • tiap gw bk kmpie, dah ke set appear offline di MSN
  • gw pasti lngsng bk mozilla bwat ngebaca fanfictions
  • gw bkl bk inbox email gw, bk make a baby di fb (biar dpt duit), bk forum yaoi (biar dpt points), bk deviantart (biar taw updates2 ny), bk tokudane (biar taw updates2 yaoi), bk youtube (biar taw updates2 arashi), bk livejournal (biar taw pnulis yg gw senengin dah update ato blm)
  • tentu ny, maen ro kl sempet (yup, thanks wan~ lo dah memperkenalkan ro lg ke gw EN dah ksh dvd ny)
  • chat ama org2 biasa kl mreka online (sori cal, ap2 lo yg manggil gw mulu)
  • hmmm.. bc porn? tentu. tiap hari. eh, gag d.. kdng gw bc yg action2 gt, bkn yaoi.. tp yah.. mao itu kmk kek, crita kek, (bneran gw gag gt sk) gw pasti bc porn
  • kdng kl lg mood, gw watch something online. kl gag ntn dvd.. soalny gw org yg kasian, gag pnya dvd player.

Yup. Iri? Gw nganggur n enak2 bk internet tiap hari? Sedangkan lo org banyak ujian n homework n musti bertemu guru2 menyebalkan? Don’t be. Soalny lo enak, pnya ms dpn.. sedangkan gw ngga.

[sori, gw emo lg d..]

Oh, btw.. MET ULTAH NINOMIYA KAZUNARI~! Pas 17 Juni. XD

EMO (again?!)

May 18, 2009 at 4:22 pm | Posted in Journal | 1 Comment
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Yup. Gw lg emo abis.

Mak gw lg bad mood trus pas gw marah gr2 mak gw mkn coklat gw, mak gw jd nangis marah2 n bpk gw jd nyalah2in gw gt.

Kl dr pg mak dah pusing, bkn slh gw. Kl pas siang mak ad mslh, bkn slh gw. Kl pas sore mak dimrahin nci, bkn slh gw. PAPA GAG BS LIAT APA?!

rage1wv6

Yeah, jd gw lg ngerem di kamar. Hikikomori lg d. xD
(Hikikomori adlh -intinya- org yg ngerem di kmr, gag ad pergaulan di dunia luar krn gag kluar2, kl dia bk kmpie.. tmn ny cm yg di internet doank)

Hr ultah sodara gw, gw mlh apes abis. Su-e dah.

Gw jd pngn beresin meja kompie gw. Bwat ilangin rasa kesel kl y.. Eh, gag mungkin. Td gw da lempar stngh lbh fanta ke lantai (gw minum dl tentu ny).

-_-’ a

Waw. Gw perlu ikut kelas anger management kl y? Kl mrh pasti gw perlu lempar/matahin seswatu. Tp tntuny gw liat dl brng ny berguna/mhl gag. Haha. Bego.

Whoops. Dr gag mood ntn, jd pngn ntn d. Ntn ap y.. -nyari dvd n film di internet-

-gag usa komen neh post y, gw cm mo ngoche2 aj.. (kyk bkl ad yg komen)

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